Vandals Terrorize Gardener

Milford Wammbasser, curator of ^C1’s prestigious Swithen Center for General Studies, watched in horror as vandals trampled through the center’s gardens. "Hoodlums, that’s what they were," he told police, visibly shaken as he described what happened. "I told them to stop. I even pointed out that the sign clearly says ‘Do Not Pick the Flowers.’ Can you imagine?" ^C1 Police commissioner Garfield Bumpkis can easily imagine. "Crime in ^C1 is up. All types, all areas, all times, the whole ball of wax. The Commissioner had better do something, and fast."