Fire Burns ^C1 Landmarks

A wicked fire consumed a number of ^C1 historical edifices yesterday, and the city is the worse for it. The city's only reptile museum was engulfed with flames, and only three Komodo dragons survived. In another part of town, the produce section of Buy It, Bag It, and Snag It market was completely destroyed, much to the sorrow of local produce lovers.

"Oh, the horror, the horror. All that arugula--gone!" wailed Dempsey "Doogie" Dorsey, throwing her hands skyward. Leland Wombat could only nod in agreement. He was finally able to muster, "To me, the tragedy is the baby corns. So young, so young," he whimpered.