Local Couple Weds

Reinhold Martini, son of Marshall and Olive Martini, flew to Hawaii last week to exchange vows with Toodles, an African marmoset. The private ceremony was witnessed by Martini’s mother and the President of the Darwinian Association for the Olfactory Challenged. Sources say Toodles looked stunning in her designer rhinestone mu-mu adorned with fourteen colorful leis. The couple promised to love, cherish and pick lice off each other. Martini’s mother told neighbors that the couple’s long-term plans are to find an apartment where they can live openly and then spend their lives searching for the cure for diaper rash.