Citizens Irked By Foul Air

The citizens of ^C1, armed with tennis rackets and butterfly nets, have vowed to clean the air of a host of pollutants brought on by the unhealthful emissions from ^C1's factories. "Why, just two days ago I washed my hair, and when I came back from my walk it was filled with black gunk and what appeared to be dirty, unreadable fortune-cookie fortunes," declared Nettie Knockwuurst.

Though warned by experts that waving the rackets and nets about in the air will do little to combat the high pollution, they have grimly set about their task. "Listen, something's got to be done," said Mikey "Milquetoastie" Mayberry, "and it just might help my backstroke."