Local Plant Closes

Unemployment in ^C1 has claimed the Vandark-Kripolski Bottling Company. The plant will close after operating for seventy-eight years. Its beverage, VK Zoomola, was produced by the high-speed emulsifying of random fruits, berries, peppermint and fennel. "People are trying to save money by using their own home juicers," observed VK President Cuthburt Vandark. "They’ll never get the constant surprise we provide. Never the same way twice. That’s our slogan, and we’re proud of it."

The plant employed eight people, who will begin looking for new jobs next week. The building will be auctioned off at the end of the year. Several South African gold mining companies have expressed interest in the plant’s emulsifying blades.