^C1 Safest City In Country, Polls Show

The crime rate in ^C1 was .0004 percent of the median rate for comparable population sizes, reported the Bureau of Niggling Facts yesterday. "There hasn't been a murder, or even a violent crime for that matter, in ^C1 since Hattie Churchmouse rapped Henry Pigbuckle on the temple with a butter churn handle in '04, and he died more of a hurt spirit than of malicious intent," said Police Chief Ring O. Saturn.

The townfolk are known for leaving their keys in their cars, their wallets in restaurants, and their good sense at home. Everybody hopes things stay that way.