Fireman Shortage Not Comical

The total destruction of the Laugh and a Half Comic Books warehouse last night was due to a personnel shortage in the ranks of city firefighters. The four-alarm, six-siren and two-grenade blaze began when a nine-year-old girl was sent from her parents' seance with a pack of matches and instructions to "bring crimson tongues of flame down upon the purveyors of wickedness," according to a witness who overheard the child being interviewed.

"If we'd only had some more men, at least we could have saved the Thars, and maybe even the Captain Heroes," said Chief Moppsy Dampbrow, surveying the scene. The only comics saved were a small stack of Richie Kid's, and those were promptly burned.