^P1 And ^P2 Sign Monumental Pact

Commissioner ^P1, in a move sure to have ringing repercussions throughout all city districts, has agreed with Commissioner ^P2 to exchange ^O1 for ^O2 (though the usual amount of hems, haws, and interminable throat-clearings did diminish the signing ceremony's polish).

Both commissioners have jockeyed for power in the city since their elections, with no clear-cut winner. After the historic document was inked, ^P2 said, "This compact will pinken babies' cheeks and fatten voters' pocketbooks throughout the city." Commissioner ^P2 was heard to mutter in the background, "The fattest thing in this city is ^P1's head, but hot air don't weigh much."