New Human Species Possible

City officials in Erie, Pennsylvania cut the ribbon of the world's first "subway station," which will allow passengers to ride underground in electric trains. The idea met resistance at first, but the advantage of traveling underground was especially noted during the past winter. "It will be warmer in winter, cooler in summer, and dry when it rains," announced ^C1 Transportation Commissioner Orvell Whipensnap. "And it could serve as an air-raid shelter. There's no reason at all why some people won't want to live in the tunnels. I predict that within fifty years, a whole new type of people get invented, people who have lived underground all their lives."

The subway's first passenger was eighty-five-year-old Shirley McPherson. "It was the bees knees," she announced as she was helped, breathless but uninjured, from the lead car. "And so clean. I guess people have more respect for underground transportation."